I’ve seen many people commenting since theatres have reopened they’re noticing a lot of awful theatre etiquette. The thing is though, I haven’t noticed it being any worse than it was pre-pandemic. Maybe people just forgot how bad it could be.

When the theatres reopened, I spent some time working front of house in two different West End theatres. So I thought I would write a list of the things that annoy me the most about disruptive and rude audience members, both as an audience member and as a front of house worker.

1. Having a loud conversation mid-show

If you have come to watch live theatre and you’re having a loud conversation during the show, the only thing I have to ask you is…. why? There is no reason to talk during the show. It’s disruptive to the people around you and disrespectful to the actors on stage.

* this does not include people with autism, tourettes or any other kind of medical condition where they may struggle to stay quiet. In cases where it can’t be helped we should be understanding. Theatre is for everyone and if there’s one thing producers don’t do enough of it’s ‘relaxed performances’.

2. Singing along as if it’s karaoke night at your local pub

I don’t care if ‘Don’t Lose Ur Head’ is your favourite catchy Queen song, no one paid money to hear your out-of-tune singing. I’ve noticed this being quite an issue at shows like Six, Jersey Boys, Frozen and Hairspray where the score is maybe more well-known.

Jukebox musicals are definitely more likely to make people think they can sing-along. But you know what? You can’t sing along. So don’t do it.

3. Creating your own personal spotlight with your phone

If you think it’s more important to be scrolling through your Instagram, then why are you in the theatre? Sometimes I feel like people don’t realise how much your phone lights up like a beacon in a room that is so incredibly dark. It’s very noticeable to everyone around you.

Surely you can just put it away for an hour or so until the interval? Ushers don’t show the ‘no phones’ sign at the start of the show for you to then get your phone out.

4. Don’t forget your smart watch also lights up

This is something that I have noticed being a huge issue since theatre came back. Most people don’t even think about this, but your smart watch is most likely set up as ‘raise to wake’ when you buy it. This means every time you applaud, your watch is going to light up. So please, please make sure you have this setting turned off in the theatre!

5. “Is there a good reason ______ isn’t on tonight?”

Yes, there is a good reason why an actor might not be performing. Just like with any other job, they are entitled to take holiday and sick days. That is the only reason you need to know. And when an actor you want to see isn’t on, don’t be loudly complaining about it (and certainly don’t complain to an usher about it. Someone once did this to me, hence the quote for this point, and with the tone said person made the complaint in I struggled to find the will to pretend to care).

And yes, it can be disappointing when a performer you really wanted to see isn’t there. We’ve all been there. But understudies and swings are the backbone of any theatre show and you should just feel lucky they are there. If they weren’t, you might not have been seeing a show at all!

6. *crinkle crinkle* *chomp chomp*

Why have you bought the snacks with the noisiest, most crinkley packaging you could find. I personally don’t understand eating during the theatre. It’s not a movie, this is a live theatre performance. But if you’re going to do it, please don’t rustle them so loudly.

7. Littering all over the place

Following on from snacks and drinks… WHY ARE YOU NOT TAKING YOUR RUBBISH WITH YOU!? The absolute state theatres are left in after an audience leaves makes me wonder if these people were raised in a barn.

This may be news to you, but the floor surprisingly isn’t a bin. Be respectful to the theatre and to the front of house staff, and dispose of your own mess.

8. Leaning forward in your seat

I pondered about including this one. The thing is, when you’re in the balcony, for example, sometimes you can’t see unless you lean forward. But this sets off a domino effect and makes everyone have to lean forward to see any of the stage at all. So whilst I understand sometimes it can’t be helped, I think we should be mindful to not do it for the entire show and respect the audience member sitting behind us.

9. Children sitting on laps

Directly related to the above, I understand that your child might not be able to see because they’re small. But theatres have booster seats for a reason. If you have a child on your lap, you now essentially have two heads which gives the person behind you no chance.

I’ve noticed this being a huge problem at shows like Frozen which are family-orientated. There’s nothing wrong with a small kid being on your lap but your ten year old can sit in their own seat (I’m not making this up, I have seen this happening before).

10. Complaining about actors not signing / taking photos at stage door

Guys, please stop this madness. Absolutely no one is entitled to an actor’s time at stage door, and some people would do well to remember this. I see actors being called rude and disrespectful on social media when they don’t come out stage door all the time. But are they rude? Or is it the person tweeting them? (Hint: it’s the latter).

If an actor you would like to meet comes out of the stage door and has time to stop, great! If not, then that’s their business. They might have a train to catch, have other plans, or maybe they’re just introverted and don’t fancy interacting with strangers that day. Whatever the reason is none of our business, just remember to be respectful and understanding. The main thing is you got to see them perform!

Wow, well this felt therapeutic! What annoys you about rude theatre audiences? Let me know in the comments!