Last week I lost my job, and this week I’m starting a blog. I’m considering it a brand new chapter in my life. But I don’t want to sugar coat the reality that losing your job really SUCKS. I’m trying not to dwell on the negatives, but it has been such a blow to my self-confidence. Right now I’m in the process of acknowledging my emotions whilst trying to move forward with my life.

GRATITUDE

I truly appreciate the opportunity this job gave me. Flashback to before I landed it, I was working a zero hours contract at a call centre. I don’t think anyone will be shocked to hear that having people shout at me down a phone for a refund was not my definition of an ideal job. I’d graduated from university the year before but the job hunting road is sometimes long and tiresome. Most office jobs I applied for would respond saying they’re looking for someone with office experience and you’re standing there like ‘okay but how do I get experience if no one will hire me without experience’. It’s a very odd dilemma.

So when I finally got a job offer, it was just such a relief that someone was finally willing to take a chance on me. For this I will be forever grateful. The job was basic and didn’t necessarily get the brain cogs going, but I genuinely enjoyed working there. Saying goodbye to this period of my life feels equivalent to losing a part of my identity. But hey, at least employers can no longer turn around and tell me I’m not eligible for the job because I don’t have ‘office experience’ *insert sassy snaps here*

IT’S OKAY TO BE UPSET

It’s exhausting trying to stay positive when everything around you seems pretty bleak. Losing your job hits you emotionally and financially, and that in turn leads to confusion, stress and frustration. Trying to mentally adapt to a massive sudden change in your life can be difficult. I had suspected my job was in danger, but sometimes not even mental preparation can prepare you for the shock of the fall.

I don’t often cry in front of people, but after losing my job the ‘r’ word (i.e. redundancy) became very triggering. Just hearing that word made me burst into tears – it was pretty ugly! I found it really hard to disassociate the word ‘redundancy’ with the idea of being a ‘failure’. It felt like something to be ashamed of even though I know it’s not. But they say a good old cry helps to release endorphins (those feel-good chemicals) into your body. Therefore, crying is ultimately beneficial to relieving stress which is great because I did A LOT of it.

THE NEXT STEPS

So what am I doing now? Well it’s back to the drawing board, trying to make myself look employable and embarking upon another job hunting journey. Hopefully the road will be shorter this time around. When you leave a job you ultimately have more experience for your cv and feel better equipped to take on any interview that may come your way. I’m also taking time to think about what I truly want to do and what I can do now (e.g. online courses etc) which will give me a boost in the long run.

It is more important that we focus on the things we can control rather than things which are out of our hands. It’s okay to be sad, but it’s a waste of time to obsess over things that aren’t your fault. I am slowly beginning to understand that redundancy is not the equivalent to being a massive failure. I didn’t lose my job because I was a slacker or bad at what I was doing. Working in the leisure and tourism industry just wasn’t a very lucky place to be during a worldwide pandemic. Unfortunately, there are thousands of others in the same position as me right now too.

A FEW FINAL COMMENTS

Sometimes I like to believe that everything in this universe happens for a reason. It’s easier to let go of things if we think there are better things to come. So whilst I’m waiting for those better things, I made a blog. I just wanted to have a space where I could write about things I enjoy. This is me taking time for myself and having a hobby that keeps my mind active. Onward and upwards!